Mike Pence Never Eats Alone With Other Women Or Drinks Without His Wife Present

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The Atlantic  —  The piece talks about the closeness of the Pences’ relationship, and cites something Pence told The Hill in 2002: Unless his wife is there, he never eats alone with another woman or attends an event where alcohol is being served. (It’s unclear whether, 15 years later, this remains Pence’s practice.) It’s not in the Post piece, but here’s the original quote from 2002: “‘If there’s alcohol being served and people are being loose, I want to have the best-looking brunette in the room standing next to me,’ Pence said.”

(Sorry for all the curse words. I totally understand if you don’t want to read such vile.)

I’m sorry. I don’t see a problem here. Yes, of course a married man should never dine with another women. What are you out of your mind? Do you guys not understand the implication? The temptation? The sin? If I dine with a women that means 1) she wants to make s*x to me, and 2) she wants me to pay for it because I make more money. One second she’s babbling about how hard it is to take all those phone calls as a secretary and the next thing you know she’s climbing under the table trying to unbuckle my belt and swipe my credit card. How, as a married man, would that look for me? And how do women think it would feel if I just grabbed them by their p*ssy?

Look, it’s not your fault ladies. Women are just born like that. Temptresses of the devil, as mother liked to say. All they want is money and s*x. Especially the money. Women be shopping.

That’s why I don’t dine with them or even talk to them. At this point I’ve gotten so good at avoiding women that they don’t even try to put their magic on me. They can probably tell I’m averse to their spells. “Waste of time” they think. “I bet he doesn’t even want to s*x me.” Perverts.

So yes, I’m with Mike here. No women, ever. Well, except Mother.

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P.S.   Jokes aside this is the weirdest thing of all time. I can’t tell if Pence is a genuine psychopath or if this is all a hilarious ruse to cover up that he’s having multiple affairs. Like I’m pretty sure he’s just a weird religious nutjob. But I also wouldn’t be shocked if he was having multiple affairs and paid for multiple abortions for women he’s knocked up. It’s always the people who are most staunchly against something that end up having done said thing dozens of times. And anyone who’s as vehemently against abortion as Pence is a prime candidate to have been a part of a few himself. Shit, man. Politicians continue to be the weirdest people alive.

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