Breaking News: Hitler Loved To Get Pooped On During Sex

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Say what you want, but if Trump doesn’t run for President, we don’t learn anything about Hitler’s sex life. And as scary as the proposition of a Trump presidency is, this new knowledge that Hitler was a season ticket holder for the Cleveland Steamers kind of makes it worth the risk, right?

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NY Post — Adolf Hitler had a disgusting sexual fetish, according to a top secret spy report. The Nazi leader’s bedroom habits included a love of “poo sex,” claims a dossier from the US Office of Strategic Services, the forerunner of the Central Intelligence Agency. The intelligence document says he liked women to stand over him and defecate because he was turned on by poo. It also revealed the Fuhrer had a “micro penis” and — as the famous song suggests — only one testicle. It also revealed he liked to be brutally kicked by women as part of his sex games… Langer concluded Hitler was not capable of normal sex and that he was a coprophiliac — someone who gets turned on by poo. The doctor wrote: “The practice of this perversion represents the lowest depths of degradation.” According to the document, unveiled by the Daily Star, he would lie down to allow the woman to perform the act on him.

This might be a controversial opinion… but I think there’s some good that’s come out of the Trump campaign. Look, everyone knows he’s a con artist and a demagogue and evil and there’s still a good chance he’s just riding this whole thing out as a plant by the Clintons to destroy the Republican Party. But for all the bad, there’s still some good.

Like people from both parties have said, it’s good that the whole country is forced to acknowledge that whole “there’s a chunk of Americans who are really shitty people” thing. And like Mark Cuban has said, it’s good to see that you can have a Presidential candidate that doesn’t fit the typical political mold and will speak his or her mind.

These are good things. Good things brought on by a bad thing, but good things nonetheless.

You know what else is a good thing to come out of the Trump campaign?

Hitler sex facts.

Above all else, the best thing to develop from Trump’s campaign for President is that it’s dredged up some incredible Hitler sex facts. Hitler sex facts that, if we’re being honest, probably don’t come to our attention if Hitler Jr. isn’t running for President.

So is it a little worrisome that this guy has like a 50% chance at becoming the leader of the free world? Sure. But I’m willing to make that tradeoff to learn some fun facts about ze Fuhrer. Facts like “Hitler had a micropenis” and “Hitler had one ball” and “Hitler liked to be kicked by women in his micropenis during sex” and… last but certainly not least… “Adolf Hitler liked women to stand over him and defecate because he was turned on by poo”

I mean come on. That’s hilarious. And as scary as the proposition of a Trump presidency is, this new knowledge that Tru– I mean Hitler was a season ticket holder for the Cleveland Steamers kind of makes it worth the risk, right?

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