Nobody should get to have a name like that. And if you have a name like that you CERTAINLY shouldn’t get to be 6’7″. That’s just not fair. Kobe here is probably out celebrating with his drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend, Lilly Perfectbutt. Some guys get all the luck, huh?
P.S. I’ll still believe to my dying day that if I was anywhere over 6’4″ I’d be a pro athlete right now. Basketball, football, lacrosse. Either one works. Put this heart and this competitiveness and this athletic coordination in a fat 5’10” body and you get a career blogger who peaked athletically in high school. Put it in a 6’5″ body of any shape and I’m a pass catching NFL Tight End who’s not much of a blocker and/or a crafty, pass-first NBA Point Guard without much of a jumper. I’ll go to the grave believing that.