Steven Seagal, Who Looks Like An Owl At This Point, Gave An Incredible Interview This Morning

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Live look at Steven Seagal, masterfully handling complex issues of race in America head on


Don’t worry guys. No actual protest talk here. If we’ve learned anything over the last few weeks between Jimmy Kimmel and rich black athletes it’s that the opinions of financially successful celebrities should hold no weight in the political arena. They live a different, more privileged world than us and lack the empathy to care about how someone on the other half might view this issue. Just shut up and entertain me.

Protest stuff aside this is an absolutely fascinating watch, starting with the fact that Seagal looks like the top boss of the Woodsini crime family, or if Uncle Sam comes knocking, rather “works in sanitation.”

Folks, the last time I saw a white owl this fat I listened to Dark Side of The Moon and dipped Cheeze-Its in the guacamole.

Thanks.


If you’ll notice at the top left of the picture, Seagal now lives in Russia as a Russian citizen and a close friend of Putin. Which, I mean.. sure. Why not? Any time you can interview movie star turned Russian citizen on issues of American patriotism you have to do it, right?

Actually, yes. Steven Seagal is perfectly qualified to discuss this because he has “risked his life countless times for the American flag”

Steven Seagal absolutely believes he was a real cop this entire time. And look, if he does than who are we to argue it? If he thought he was genuinely laying his life on the line for the flag all that time, doesn’t that still mean he was at least willing to? That has to count for something right?

But the real reveal here…

The unquestionably funniest moment of this entire interview…

Is hearing Steven Seagal pronounce his new best friend Vladimir Putin’s name

Preposterous. Absolutely preposterous. Such a drastic change of accents that he literally had to take a breath to say it. If you weren’t watching him and just listen it sounds like it’s being dubbed over by a Kremlin official for a poorly-executed propaganda video.

All in all just the single funniest thing I’ve watched all day, all week, and probably all month. Glad to see Steven Seagal is doing well. And by well I mean gradually morphing into the cartoon version of himself as Putin’s fat karate jester.



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