Let’s Not All Lose Out Minds Over Lou Holtz’s Police Brutality Story

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Ok let’s just work left to right here…

  1.   Look, Lou Holtz equating the experience of black Americans dealing with the police to some Michigan cop giving him a ticket when he was probably nine yards into the left lane because he can’t even see the steering wheel that he can’t see over is simply preposterous. We all know that. The content of the story doesn’t matter. Old people just want to tell stories. Lou probably heard that “encounters with police” was a topic sometime last year and has been waiting to tell someone other than his wife that story since he stopped working at ESPN. I’m not trying to downplay racism and I’m not calling what Lou said racist. What’s my point, then? My point is call your grandparents. And I’m talking to myself more than anything. Call your grandparents and listen to their stories. It made Lou’s fucking day to tell that story and even if there’s a few uncomfortable racist moments just remember that not one single thing you say is going to change the mind of someone over 70.

2.   Tucker Carlson has, without a shadow of a doubt, the most punchable face in entertainment right now. I mean that thing is just asking for it. Tucker jumped Jaden Smith at the top of the punchability rankings faster than Rick Piti- you know what Rick’s had a tough day let’s pocket that joke for now.

And look I know there’s something to be said about the whole vibe Tucker gives off. But that’s not what makes the face. It’s the open mouth thing he does – the same open mouth move that Jaden Smith does.

DUDE CLOSE YOUR FUCKING MOUTH. Just push your lips together and stop looking at your guests like they’re growing dicks out of their eyes.

3.   You can actually see what’s left of Whitlock’s soul leave his body at this moment and I almost, almost feel bad for him.

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