WORMS, Germany (FOX11) – Firefighters in Worms, Germany were called in to help free a man who got his body part stuck in the hole of a 2.5kg (5.5 pound) weight at a gym. With the help of a grinder and a hydraulic saw, they were able to break the weight into 5 parts, freeing the man’s penis.
On Friday, the Feuerwehr Worms Fire Department released a photo on Faceook, showing the dumbbell disc broken into 5 pieces after the 3-hour ordeal that took place in order to fee the man.
First things first let’s all just leave our judgement at the door. Take off your shoes, hang up your coat, and check your privilege. And by privilege I mean the privilege of having never been caught.
Because we’re all men here except the ladies reading this blog of which there are many. And as men we have all, at some point or another, put… ourselves… in a precarious position. You know what let’s just stop tiptoeing around this we’ve all put our dick in something other than our hand/a woman/a man (shoutout to my gay readers of which there are also very many it’s 2017 get over it).
Everyone reading this blog right now has something they can think of. Sure it might not have been a weight – but whomst amongst us has not seen a hole that simply refused to chill and needed your undivided attention. Werner Von Thicstein here just happened to catch those feelings at an inopportune moment and found himself more stuck than that time Winnie The Pooh went over to Rabbit’s house for a bit of lunch and ate and ate and ate and ate and ate and ate and ate and ate and ate and ATE.
What I’m fascinated by, however, is how exactly he got stuck.
If we’re operating under the assumption that he… went in hot… then shouldn’t he have been able to slide right out once the job was done? Was there no growth factor here? Or was my man just sitting there fully rocked up even as the firefighters brought a goddamn saw out to cut the weight in pieces. I don’t know… something about a goddamn electric saw near my junk would maybe, possibly kill the mood a little bit, no? Logically the only explanation here is that he went in with a major workout shrinkage factor and then got stuck when it went back to normal. But even then I still can’t help but think you’d be able to yank hi– you know what actually let’s just pull the plug here. Good blog. We’re on to Cincinnati.
P.S. Preposterous move by Rabbit to paint Winnie’s ass like a moose. Simply preposterous.