You know what really fascinates me? It’s the fork in the road moments in life.
I had a chance to score a game winning goal in high school. Sophomore year, against our rivals, on the road, every goddamn person I know and associate with from kids to adults is either on that field or in the crowd. Game goes to overtime. Sudden death. I get the ball with just the net in front of me and a chance to end it. I’m having a great game. I’m feeling confident as hell. I wind up to rip one as hard as humanly possibly and be the fucking hero. And I plant the ball directly in the goalie’s chest. I mean… just the worst placed shot imaginable. Absolutely shit the bed.
That moment never haunted me. (I SAID IT NEVER DID NO YOU SHUT UP I’M NOT FREAKING OUT.) But I’d think about it every once in a while for a few years after that.
Then it got brought up a few weeks ago and since then I’ve been kind of obsessed with it. No, not in an unhealthy way. Just from the standpoint of… okay, what if that shot went in? Would my life be any different right now?
Probably not. Who you are as a person isn’t really going to be drastically altered by anything short of a major life decision and or monumental event. And a high school lacrosse game absolutely does not qualify as either of those. Looking back on everything I did growing up and what I liked and how I’d spend my time… I was probably always going to end up writing about sports on the internet and falling out of shape and spending a lot (far too much) of my life trying to make people laugh.
I don’t think my life would be much different on the whole if that shot had gone in. It takes a lot for one specific moment to really change who you are and what you’ll become, right?
But… but… what if it did? I mean… there’s a chance right? And it’s kind of crazy to think about that. In high school all those things feel so big. Maybe that shot goes in and I start to prioritize different things… and maybe my interests narrow… and maybe I go to a different college… and maybe my motivations shift… and maybe I get into a different field… and on and on and on and on.
Maybe that was a major fork in the road in life? I don’t know. I don’t know if I’ll ever know. But it’s crazy to think that one moment in high school might have changed the course of my life forever.
Unfortunately Kelvin here will never have a fork in the road moment because he is dead.