Look… I don’t know what’s going on with Sammy’s skin. Maybe it’s a condition. Maybe he’s intentionally bleaching it. Maybe this is just what happens after years of HGH combined with the stress of rescuing a new bar every Sunday night at 9/8 central only on Spike TV. I don’t know. But I’m not going to sit here and make fun of him for looking like he fell into a hornets nest at day camp today and now has to apply Calamine lotion thrice an hour. I simply will not say such a thing. If Sammy can’t help it than who am I to judge.
But if I could make a suggestion for Mr. Samuel L. Softtones, it would be to not accentuate the look with the cooked salmon fit. I don’t know whether to sprinkle some dill and squeeze a lemon on him the one night a week I pretend to eat healthy or drink him after eating like trash the other six.
It’s one thing to look like a vampire in a suit…
Don’t just fire your stylist Sammy. Fire him into the moon with a corked bat and that patented hop step.