Watch Out, Big Business Mover In The Building

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Uh oh. Looks like someone got their phone wet and broke the audio function because he does irresponsible things and had to buy bluetooth headphones because he’s too technologically dependent to go outside without music or a podcast.

Big Business Guy here with his brand new Apple Air Pods. Closing six figure deals on the sidewalk as passers by start to respond to me. No, sorry buddy. Can’t talk right now. I’m making things happen. Yeah no this fuckin guy out here in a Joseph A. Bank buy one get nine free suit thought I was talking to him. As fucking if bro. Anyway, sell the stocks. Buy the bonds. Cancel my four and move my two to seven. Get that cheesedick Anderson on the line and see if he’s open to play 36 tomorrow. Shot a 79 last week I’m trying to roll that over. And grab me a monster from the fridge I’m gonna bang out a mini leg day back at the office.

All kidding aside though… I’m actually kind of very quietly into these things already. I knocked my headphones out ALL THE TIME. Cabinet handles, table corners, my own arms, rolling over in bed, everything. The freedom of motion with these things now though? God damn man. It’s like they’re not even there. Sure I look like an asshole. And yes I will lose one or both or the charging back or all of the above at an astonishingly fast rate. But the week or so I have them is gonna be fantastic.

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