To Nobody’s Surprise, Aaron Judge Was An Absolute Animal In High School

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7 home runs?


That might honestly be the wildest thing I’ve ever seen. Like did they only play 7 games? Did Judge just not bat when he was pitching? I mean… what?

Of all the insane statistics listed there, it’s absolutely preposterous that the one “meh” number is home runs. HOME RUNS! The man leading baseball in dingers as a rookie… The mutant slugging 450+ foot shots with regularity… he only hit 7 home runs in his senior high school season? I didn’t play baseball in high school and wasn’t a power hitter to begin with (doubles machine) and I’m relatively sure I could hit 7 home runs if I switched sports and jumped back into baseball my seniors season.

The only possible explanation for this is that Aaron is so #humble that he didn’t want to show up these poor kids by mashing 600 foot aluminum bat home runs through the third floor window of the science building. I mean don’t get me wrong, Aaron Judge is a killer. But the true sign of a high level assassin is that he doesn’t waste kills on people who can’t compete.

Some pimple faced junior throwing flat sliders right down broadway is no competition for Aaron fucking Judge. What’s the use in being an asshole and hitting the ball a country mile?

You know what… that’s probably why Aaron is such an advanced hitter now. He probably took that time to work on going oppo and on holding off on balls up in the zone. That’s why his spray chart looks like a handheld fan. balls hit in any and every direction. That all began because he had the humility and the foresight to become a better hitter rather than sit there like a young Adam Dunn trying to moonball every single pitch.

So #humble. So smart. So large.

He is everything I could ever ask for from my large adult son. I am so proud.

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