Ok, do you want the good news or bad news? Bad news? Okay yeah let’s start with the bad news.
The world is irreparably broken. Nothing will ever get better. American society is probably as good as it gets on this planet and we are irrevocably polarized. Everyone hates everyone, and the people in power on both sides want to keep it that way. And compared to the rest of the world we’re a goddamn utopia. Our infrastructure is crumbling rapidly. Financial markets are hilariously unstable. And our entire lives–personally and financially–are so exposed and vulnerable on the internet that one hack and that’s it. Everything you know, everything you’ve ever worked for, all of it gone. We’re on the brink of something happening with Russia. We’ve got North Korea and the majority of the Middle East trying to kill us. China is just sitting in the weeds ready to capitalize on the volatility. Another World War is inevitable and nukes will almost certainly be used. It’s so inevitable that Mutually Assured Destruction doesn’t even seem to be a concern. Fuck it, right? One disease outbreak could wipe out the East Coast in a week. We’re running out of water and food as a planet. The population is entirely too high already and will only continue to rise. People are getting stupider because we rely on the internet for everything. Robots are already taking our jobs and are probably going to take over the world. That is, if we’re not invaded by aliens first. There is no god. There’s no heaven. There’s no afterlife. There’s really nothing to look forward to other than the sweet release of death.
The good news? The good news is that death is coming pretty, pretty, pretty soon. The second these polar ice caps melt we are deuces as a planet. Deuces. And I for one can’t wait.
So let’s turn the sun up to level ten and watch those ice caps slide into the ocean like a DM. Pop that sea level up a few hundred feet and drown the planet get this whole thing over with already. I’m ready if you’re ready. Actually I’m just ready and don’t care if you’re ready. Nothing you can do about it all anyway, right? I see you doing your thing polar ice caps. Fuck me up fam!
P.S. Sorry I blacked out what just happened?