Hey… hey you… YEAH YOU… watching your shows on the Netflix. You goddamn millennial. Listen to me. No, stop looking at your phone. LISTEN TO ME. While you’re laying on your ass, there are people out there working to protect your right to watch all that liberal propaganda.
When you’re binge-watching The Office on Netflix, first responders are out of their OFFICES saving lives.
When you’re binge-watching Jane The Virgin on Netflix, the troops are making sure terrorists can’t suicide bomb themselves to an afterlife of 72 of them.
When you’re binge-watching Arrested Development on Netflix, our police are DEVELOPING cases and ARRESTING criminals
When you’re binge-watching Dave Chappelle’s new stand up specials on Netflix, our politicians are STANDING UP in the face of tyranny and oppression.
When you’re binge-watching It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, it’s NEVER Sunny in the interrogation rooms where the FBI is gathering important intel.
When you’re binge-watching Friends on Netflix, American spies are infiltrating our ENEMIES to keep you safe. And it’s not Always Sunny out there in this Game Of Thrones.
When you’re bi–
okay okay I’m done.