Well it looks like the basketball isn’t the only think Melo holds for too long. Folks,,
True Love? Folks, I am hearing from multiple sources around the league and also many, many people–believe me–that True Love has passed away at the tender age of 4.543 billion. After one of the most storied careers in the history of the world, True Love
Services will be held outside Madison Square Garden Arena on Thursday, April 20th – where we will line ourselves up to spell out FIRE PHIL JACKSON and commit ritualistic suicide.
Because make no mistake about it… this is Phil’s fault. You know why Melo cheated? He couldn’t take the stress of Phil. He couldn’t take this geriatric fuck trying to implement a stupid offense from the front office. He couldn’t take this delusional asshole handing SEVENTY TWO MILLION to never-not-injured center and trading two real assets for a washed up rapist ball-dominant point guard when that’s EXACTLY what this team didn’t need. He couldn’t take getting his name dragged through the mud and thrown in impossible trade rumors by HIS OWN GM. He just couldn’t deal with the stress. Who could?
You know how much strain Phil himself put on Melo and La La’s relationship? (Sidenote: why did we never call them MeLaLa or CarmeLaLa or Carmela Soprano or you know what I’ll just stop here. Sorry.) He put all of the stress on it. I’m not saying what Melo did was right or justified. I’m just telling you that it happened because of Phil Jackson.
You know what I don’t get? Why do we call Phil the “Zen Master”? Has Phil Jackson ever actually reduced the amount of stress in any given situation? Seriously, think about it…
Jordan was out here punching teammates and tortured Scottie to the point that even after six rings and twenty plus years Scottie still hates his guts.
Shaq and Kobe, inevitable as their mutual distain may have been, became such a volatile situation so quickly that the Lakers had to break up the most dominant partnership in league history.
And now he’s tortured Melo and La La — the standard for athlete-celebrity relationships by any quantifiable measure (don’t even approach me with that David Beckham-Posh Spice shit) — to the point that Melo lost his damn mind and went raw dog in some stri– I mean professional dancer.
Phil wasn’t some basketball genius and master motivator with a heightened ability to synchronize major personalities. He was a passive aggressive dickhead who incorporated Tex Winters’ offense and then sat back and let the two best duos in league history (Michael and Scottie, Shaq and Kobe) carry him into history. He’s an ’09 KG injury away from not seeing rings ten or eleven, which are the only things there to validate him as anything other than the guy who landed in the two most beneficial coaching scenarios in league history. And I hate Phil Jackson’s legacy’s hair too. And it’s clothes.
Take away the glean from the #RINGZ and all you have is a stubborn, pretentious asshole who would have drafted Jahlil Okafor for his giant ass over Kristaps Porzingis if he could have. And whose outright refusal to admit his mistakes and change his strategy has this Knicks team looking as lost and pathetic as ever. And anoth–
Wait, what was this blog about again?
P.S. At this point only one of these two is coming back. It’s Phil or Melo. Not both, and unfortunately, not neither. And while it looked like Phil had won for a while, after last Friday I think it’s Melo who comes back. Melo still has the No Trade leverage. Melo is still in James Dolan’s good graces. And Melo has the clear backing of the most important person in the franchise – Kristaps Porzingis. And while I’d love nothing more than to move on from Melo and rebuild, if there’s an actual choice I think I’d choose Melo over Phil. I’d rather leave the personnel decisions to literally anyone else but Phil and ride out the last two years of Melo than risk Phil drafting Jayson Tatum and resigning Derrick Rose and continuing this AWFUL run of stupid, hasty, and wildly disjointed decisions. And who knows, maybe single Melo is a rejuvenated Melo. I mean probably not. But this is all we have. Fuuuuuuck why do I even bother with this fucking franchise.
P.P.S. Happier Times