My buddy just sent this video to the group chat about an hour ago and for the last hour I’ve been trying to figure out what exactly I just watched.
Seriously… what did I just watch? Because as far as I can tell, that was 52 seconds of Barry Melrose saying absolutely nothing other than Cigars are synonymous with winning. It was like watching a kid get called on in class who didn’t do the reading but knows The Great Gatsby is about The American Dream. What did I take from The Great Gatsby… well… The Great Gatsby… it’s a novel… and… well… it’s hard to say… but to me… when I read The Great Gatsby… the whole time… that I was reading The Great Gatsby… what struck me… is that… well… it’s that it… it was about… the novel, The Great Gatsby, that is… it’s about… The American Dream… yes… and the light… the green light… is what we’re all… as Americans… striving to reach towards… we’re all trying to… to achieve the American Dream… I’m talking of course about The Great Gatsby… Fantastic novel… It truly moved me. Thanks.
And yet at the same time… I was captivated. Those dramatic shots. The smoke floating. Barry’s velvety vocals. It was mesmerizing. Who cares if Barry didn’t do the reading? He’s Barry. I love Barry. I love a good cigar. I love winning. I’d love to actually win something one day.
And you know what else I love? I love playoff hockey. You love playoff hockey. We all love playoff hockey.
And tonight it is BACK baby. #QuestForTheCup #LetsGoRangers. And if you’ve got your jockstrap in a bunch about an NBA guy like me only starting to care about the NHL again once the playoffs start, then we can drop the gloves and have a go, buddy. I watched a third of the games this season. I know the Rangers lines. I played in a goddamn fantasy hockey league, okay? So let’s all just enjoy ourselves some playoff puck and also I’m still gonna have the last night of the NBA regular season on my second TV and you should all go read today’s Ham’s Hoops Roundup and the What’s The Action NBA Playoff Preview stuff coming up tomorrow and Friday.
Best stretch in the sports calendar coming up theses next two months. We’re in for a grind. We’re in for a battle. We’re in for a full 48 minutes worth, am I right? Sorry, sorry, I can’t help myself.
P.S. “When you have a baby… symbol of winning” is an all time Wait…What? line from Barry.
When you have a baby, that means you won the sex, right? You won that conception. You’re a winner. And in the words of PFT Commenter, you have a sex trophy to prove it. Raise that sex trophy high over your head and take puff of that cigar. Congrats, you now have to raise a child. Good luck.