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When I hear they tried to kick my large adult son out of a bar in Tuscaloosa.
Man if this isn’t the lamest thing I’ve ever heard I don’t know what is. How insecure as a person… as a bar… as a city… as a fanbase… do you have to be to kick a man out on some civil rights era segregation shit just because he served you a flaming hot L on a platter? What purpose does that serve? You are the loser in every single way in this situation. Calling you petty would be too high of a compliment. This is just pathetic. A bar with a little bit of pride would brand a big A on his burger, maybe hint joking that they did something to his food, and tell him he’s lucky he’s not coming back next year. To kick him out? That’s literally the softest thing I’ve ever heard. Sounds like a bunch of triggered snowflake cucks huh? Pretty ironic since I’d guess a good 3/4 of that bar had an MAGA hat or a big old Build That Wall bumper sticker on the car they walked out to and cried into the steering wheel in about when Deshaun Watson opened their mouths and shit down their throats in the National Championship.
Which is really what makes this all so hilarious.
Hey city of Tuscaloosa… too late bruh. Deshaun Watson performed prima nocta on your wives and fathered all of you sons. He owns a key to the city and the deed to Bear Bryant Stadium. Nick Saban watches Deshaun’s highlights before he puts on the weather channel every morning. And every single one of you goes to bed in your crimson tide pajamas and houndstooth slippers knowing you’re going to see Deshaun to Hunter in your nightmares.
Now say it with me, altogether now.
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I’ve been to Innis Free in Tuscaloosa. That place sucks anyway.
HOLD MY DIIIIIICK
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