Someone Tracked All The Damage Costs In The Fast & Furious Movies And It’s Totally Wrong

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When someone tells you you didn’t inflict a billion dollars worth of damage

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If we’re being honest, I think they undershot it. Half a billion? Like… that’s it? Shit, Fast Five alone they took out half the city of Rio! Fast Six they blew up a Super Jumbo Jet and tore up a fifty mile long runway! Fast Seven they destroyed the entire city of Cleveland and collapsed a parking garage! Okay, fine. Cleveland itself is probably only worth about two million dollars. But still! Do you realize how much damage that is? In cars alone that has to make up like 400 million. Have you seen the way they soup those things up? Do you have any idea how much money Luda has put into some of these whips? And what about all the NOS tanks? Trust me, that shit is expensive. What? Have I ever looked into buying NOS? Of course I’ve looked into buying NOS. What kind of question is that. Anyone who has not looked into buying NOS has simply never seen the original The Fast & The Furious. I was about seven years away from getting my license and was still scouring the internet to purchase NOS. When Officer Brian O’Conner smashes that NOS button?

OHHHHHHH Buddy. That’s up there with the long goodbye in Casablanca and the Funny Guy scene in Goodfellas. That shit was ICONIC.

My point is… there’s no way this number is even close. Clean billion in damage, no question. Count all the Broken Hearts when Paul Walker drives away to See You Again at the end of Fast Seven and now we’re talking damage in the trillions. RIP Paul. Gone But Not Forgotten and hopefully memorialized with a 12 foot statue on the San Clemente Pier any day now.

P.S.

Me going to see Fast 8 on April 14th

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