Awww Wittle Donny Is Too Scawed To Thwow Out The First Pitch On Opening Day. Sad!

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Awwwww is wittle Donny afwaid to thwow the first pitch? Does wittle Donny think he might thwow the ball it the gwound befowe home pwate?

Look, this should come as no surprise to anyone. Anything and everything that opens Trump up to the possibility of clear, spin-proof failure is off the table now. I said it when I predicted he’d refuse to fill out a bracket and look what happened… he didn’t fill out a bracket. This is no different. He’ll never open himself ip to the possibility of failure. You know, at least intentionally. He did do this today…

That’s not political. That’s not anti-Trump. That’s just a fact. If there’s a clear avenue to say “he failed”, then he just won’t take part. Bankrupt a business? That’s fine, there were outside factors at work. Lose an election? It was rigged. Fail to get a bill passed? It was the Democrats. But there’s no spin zone for throwing a ball in dirt like Carl Lewis.

I’m not even necessarily criticizing it. Say what you want about the man and that philosophy, but it’s gotten him pretty far in life. No denying that. But it won’t stop me from calling him a huge coward for skirting the most basic of asks for a seated President. Barack Obama throws like there’s no bones in his arm… still went out there and gave it a go. George Bush faced the most pressure-packed moment in the history of organized sport and still went to the rubber and threw a dart. Shit, Richard Nixon looked like a two year old knocking his dinner off the table and had no problem embarrassing himself with a first pitch.

But Trump? Trump is apparently too good for America’s past time. Too busy flying to Mar-A-Lago for the ninth time in three weeks or tweeting when Ivanka & Jared give him his phone back or holding campaign rallies three years and seven months from his next election or watching morning cable news shows or not getting bills passed to head on over to a baseball game and throw a baseball. God forbid he looks like 50 Cent and throws one through the Nationals Dugout. How would he ever be able to survive such an embarassing mishap. Wait…

I’m not one to sit here and call people un-America. That’s a lame, lazy insult for people who like country music or think that cut off jeans are more patriotic than a peaceful protest. But refusing to throw out a first pitch might be the most un-American thing I’ve seen since that one time a major political candidate colluded with Russia to win an election. If Ronald Raegan was ever done rolling in his own grave he’d probably choke on his own puke.


P.S.   The George Bush video will never ever get old.

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