Good Morning To Everyone Except Ian Kinsler

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The New York Times  —  “I hope kids watching the WBC can watch the way we play the game and appreciate the way we play the game as opposed to the way Puerto Rico plays or the Dominican plays,” Kinsler said. “That’s not taking anything away from them. That just wasn’t the way we were raised. They were raised differently and to show emotion and passion when you play. We do show emotion; we do show passion. But we just do it in a different way.”

Dude, fuck off.

You know who I would much rather watch play the game? Puerto Rican and Dominican players who play the game with visible joy and palpable emotion. I want to watch Javy Baez smile and showboat while making a tag. I want to watch Jose Bautista literally any player except Jose Bautista flip his bat after a home run. I want to watch players celebrate on the mound after a strikeout and vigorously point at the dugout after sliding in for a double and strut around the bases like the cock of the walk after a home run.

And if that’s not your style… if you try to keep yourself zipped up and not show emotion… that’s fine. Do what works for you. Just don’t tell me you’re playing the game “the right way”. Get the absolute fuck out of my face with that “College players try harder than NBA players”, “Hockey players play through injuries”, “Day laborers work harder than LeBron and they don’t take days off” MAGA bullshit. You’re a loser. You make things too serious and ruin the fun of it. And we all hate you.

It’s sports. It’s fun. It’s entertaining. It’s joyful and soul-crushing and prone to wild swings of emotion. If it’s a child’s game, why not play it like a child? Or does “child’s game” only apply when you want to criticize Lebron for “resting when he gets paid millions to play a child’s game”.

“You’re paid to entertain me every night, but you can’t have any fun while you’re doing it. If you don’t win a championship you’re garbage, but you can’t do what’s best for you to win a championship if it displeases me. You make way too much money and have too much power, but I will also blame you entirely if you don’t win a championship.” 

Youthful exuberance is good for baseball. Javy Baez is good for baseball. The Puerto Rican team dying their hair and “playing the game the Puerto Rican way” is good for baseball. Josh Donaldson and Bryce Harper are good for baseball. Jose Bautista bat flipping is good for baseball. The Red Sox outfield dancing is good for baseball. Because if all the MLB was was just a bunch of scrappy, joyless, white Ian Kinslers running around “playing the game the right way” it would be boring as shit. And that’s the last thing baseball needs.


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