Eddie Lacy Signs With Seattle… Presumably Because Of It’s Proximity To China Food

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There are plenty of reasons for players to choose the teams they do.

Maybe they like the team culture… Maybe they like the fans…
Maybe that’s the most money they can get… Maybe there is no state income tax…
Maybe the city seems like a great place to raise a family… Maybe the strip club scene is sensational…
Maybe this is the best chance for playing time… Maybe this is the best opportunity to win a championship…
Maybe a team’s scheme fits their skill set… Maybe there’s a coach or player they’ve always wanted to play with…

Or maybe… just maybe… they picked a team because it’s the closest they could possibly live to China and real, authentic China Food.

Because that, my friends, is what led Eddie Lacy to the Seattle Football Seahawks. That’s not speculation folks,,,,, that’s a stone cold lead pipe lock. Eddie Lacy looked at a map of the flat earth, grabbed an old set of still-packaged chopsticks from the drawer next to his unused oven, and measured out the city closest in proximity to the country of China. And contrary to popular belief… and thankfully for the sake of this blog… the answer is, in fact, Seattle.

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Eddie Lacy may have gone to Alabama, but he’s not dumb. He knows that where the China People are is where the China Food is best. You go to the south for BBQ and the north east for pizza and bagels and to the midwest for cheese and milk. And until Eddie Lacy decides he can’t cut it and/or cut upfield in the NFL and decides to sign with the Beijing Lions of the Chinese Arena Football League, the best place to go for that authentic China Food is Seattle, Washington.

And I have nothing but respect for the move. Enjoy your life man. You want to hit a strip club thrice a week? Sign with the Texans. You want to skate those income taxes? The Bucs are on the phone. You want to play out your career eating on that fine China Food while Pete Carroll explains controlled explosions his special teams philosophy? Go for it. Live your life Eddie.

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