Dick Posthumus? DICK POSTHUMUS?
How do you go through life when your name literally translates to Penis Deceased? That’s your name. Your name is Dead Dick. As soon as all your friends and classmates learn what the word posthumous means, you’re getting called Dead Dick for the rest of your life. Pass the hot sauce Dead Dick. Get to the back of the line Dead Dick. Shut up Dead Dick. Hey Dead Dick, how’s it feel that the only time you go deep is when we play football, huh? Huh, Dead Dick?
That has to be brutal, soul-crushing stuff every goddamn day.
Yet at the same time… that’s what strengthens a man. That creates a thick skin, a steely resolve. Dick Posthumus is, in a instance of brilliant irony, a harder man than you and I will ever be. All the jokes at his expense today… all the blogs and the tweets… Dead Dick has seen them all. He’s been through the ringer and back again for more. He’s ready for your worst. let him hav eit.
P.S. Between Trump waiting for EASY D and Dick Posthumus it’s been a huge couple of dicks- I means days on the internet for people who love dick jokes. HUGE.