Good Morning To Everyone Except Nick The Bachelor

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Thank god for Corrine or else this season would be a freakin snooze man. (See what I did there?) That girl is single handedly keeping this show afloat right now.

And that’s no disrespect to the other women. Vanessa seems entirely too good to be on this show. Danielle L. went TOFTB last night in a major way. Raven’s accent is so hilariously southern that I need it around for the rest of this season. And while this is overall a pretty underwhelming cast compared to last year, I don’t hate it.

But Nick? Nick stinks, man. This dude just stinks. I’m wholly apathetic about his prospects for love and I’m pretty sure he is to. He’s just kind of floating along as if this whole season is just going to roll into Bachelor in Paradise and start all over again. Like yes I get that this is The Bachelor and it’s all fake, but I’m also genuinely concerned that Nick doesn’t understand that this is it for him. Not genuinely concerned, because I don’t actually care. But at least concerned from the standpoint of “I don’t think this guy realizes that he’s 36 and that nobody watching actually cares what happens to him.” Dude is wallpaper with a six pack.

The producers are gonna keep Corrine around as long as possible because if we’ve learned anything from this last year, it’s that the one who gets the ratings holds all the power. Shit, after what we’ve seen this year, Corrine might even hang around long enough to win this whole thing. At the very least, she and her platinum vagine are making it to the Fantasy Suite. After that, all bets are off. Yes, I’m talking in reference to politics.

P.S.   Corrine was in NYC at the same bar I was at this weekend. Folks, I can’t even begin to describe the buzz that went around the place when people heard about this. Guys gathering around her table for pictures. Girls grouped together talking shit from across the room. Everyone in that establishment had their eyes on Corrine from the second she was there. That, folks, is power. The Kristina’s and Taylor’s of the show wouldn’t get 1/10th of that buzz. ABC ain’t dropping that any time soon.

Also, I can confirm she Thicc AF.

P.P.S.   That feel when you just want to take a nap


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