This Is The Art Of Salt

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I sense great vulnerability. A manchild crying out for love, an innocent orphan in the post-modern world.

I see a parasite… A sexually-depraved miscreant, who is seeking only to gratify his most basic and immediate urges.

I detect a nobility of attitude, an unwavering loyalty, much like the Saint Bernard.

But note the eyes, he’s a creature barely hanging on to existence. Like a cockroach clinging to a sewer grate.

His struggle is man’s struggle. He lifts my spirit!

He is a loathsome, offensive brute. Yet I can’t look away.

He transcends time and space.

He sickens me.

I love it.

Me too.


First of all… freakin Seinfeld, man. Look at that quote and look at the picture tell me that script couldn’t have been written about #SaltBae or Donald Trump or fill in the goddamn blank. Just so outrageously relatable to modern life in the most brilliant way possible. The same way we thing of Sun Tsu’s Art of War as a timeless reflection on war or Moby Dick as a timeless reflection on the struggle of man (I think people say these things), that’s how we’ll look at Seinfeld. We’re like two decades removed from the show and it’s still the GOAT. Timelessly relatable.

It’s so perfectly applicable because I just can’t look away. This blog should’ve been done 30 minutes ago. Instead I spent those 30 minutes scrolling Salt Bae’s timeline back to 2015. I’ve seen these videos dozens of times and still felt the need to watch again. The cutting, the perfection of the meat, the process. The glasses, the ponytail, the whole outfit. The panache, the diligence, the artistry. It’s mesmerizing. The man truly does transcend time and space. He’s literally just a little Turkish guy cutting dead animals… And yet I can’t look away.

 



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