WOW: How's this for beast mode !! Under 9's League tournament in Canberra…
Fuck this kid. Yeah I said it… Fuck this kid. Fuck this kid and every other overgrown ass kid who still plays at his same age level. The kid five inches taller than everyone on the basketball court. The kid bigger than all the lineman who plays running back. The fourteen year old who pretends to be twelve and throws like ten straight perfect games in the Little League World Series (BX STAND UP!). All these early developing hit puberty too early face ass giants who still play with the other 9 year olds.
Yo go fucking play with the older kids dude. Stop being such a pussy and move up a level. You’re bigger than everyone. You’re stronger than everyone. You’re just better than everyone our age at this goddamn sport. And yet you’re sitting here making layups over kids half your height or running over kids half your weight. Sick dude. Really cool stuff.
You know what I would’ve given to play up a level when I was a little kid? To tell my friends I was too athletic for them? To be a fourth grader raking off sixth grade pitching or a fifth grader crossing over seventh grade defenders or a sixth grader running over eight grade linebackers? To be the young phenom manhandling the older kids? To laugh in some big, tall, pimple-faced eight grader’s mug after running him over? In what world is that not cooler or more fun or more rewarding than being some big fucking oaf running over a bunch of kids your age who haven’t hit their growth spurt? Like sick dude, you weigh a buck forty already and you just stiff armed a kid in a soft helmet who’s legs are so skinny his socks can’t even stay up. Really impressive.
Grow a fucking set and move up to the older division. Go take on kids your own size and try to run them over and maybe then I’ll be impressed when you send someone nine yards back with a stiff arm. Until then you might as well be playing with kindergarteners. Pussy.
P.S. Can’t wait until this kid tops out at 5’7″ and barely gets run for his high school team. Nothing more satisfying than seeing the overgrown kid peak in like eight grade.
P.P.S. I take that back. Getting the best of the oversized kid is the most satisfying thing in the world. Taking the ball to the hole on the overly tall kid or laying the wood on the oversized running back or ripping one in the gap against the dominant pitcher is the absolute peak of youth sports. Breaking up a no no with a clean-contact double as a twelve year old is legitimately the peak of human existence.