TMZ — Ryan Lochte did not lie about the “robbery” incident … and there are 3 minutes of missing surveillance video that will back up most of his story … this according to sources directly connected to the swimmer. Our sources say Lochte and his team claim they were indeed taken out of a cab at gunpoint, but the video doesn’t show that because the gas station edited it out. We’re told Lochte mistook the uniforms worn by the security guards as police uniforms, and he claims during the missing 3 minutes he and the other swimmers were pulled out of the taxi at gunpoint.
As for his claim the cab was pulled over en route, one of the sources concedes, “That’s a problem.” And our Lochte sources say reports that his 3 teammates admitted the story was a lie are untrue. In fact … Jimmy Feigen just spoke with local news in San Antonio, denying a cover-up and affirming he was robbed.
Okay… let me explain to you exactly what happened on The Night Of this whole thing. It’s so simple that I can’t believe I didn’t see the whole thing from the start. It’s literally the most basic explanation ever. Anyone with a brain who has drank and drank too much at some point in their life should know the answer.
Lochte and these guys Browned Out.
What is Browning Out? Let Mac and the Gang explain…
Ryan Lochte and those three other swimmers Browned Out. Actually, what more likely happened is that the other three completely blacked out, rendering their memories completely blank, while Lochte himself only reached the Brownout stage. Not quite a blackout, but close. Close enough to not recall the majority of your night. But aware enough to remember a few bits and pieces in between all the darkness.
That’s what happened with Lochte. And you know what – it’s probably happened to everyone reading this blog.
So what exactly happened that night? The Night Of #Lochtegate? Lochte and the gang went out and got really really really drunk. Lochte and the gang probably spent all of the money they had in their wallets, as one does when they’re blacking or browning out. Lochte and the gang left the club and in their drunken stupor, saw a gas station to get snacks. Lochte tried to use the bathroom. The Brazilian gas station employees told them they couldn’t because they’re sick of drunk foreigners (especially Americans) stumbling in for late-night snacks and probably pissing all over their bathroom. Lochte probably made some douchebag comment because he’s a huge douchebag, then broke the door. Lochte and the gang walked outside and Lochte said “JEAH let’s piss back here yo” and went behind the building to piss. The employees saw them and called security guards.
Lochte and the gang tried to get into a cab. The security guards stopped that cab from leaving. Two of the swimmers probably passed out drunk in the back seat because that’s what blackout drunk people do. Lochte gave some douchebag comment about not getting out of the cab because, again, he’s a douchebag. The security guards pulled guns on the swimmers. Lochte said “whatever” and got out. The security guards marched Lochte and the gang around the corner at gunpoint and told them to sit or kneel or something. The security guards asked for ID’s. The security guards saw that these were U.S. Olympians and panicked because of the possible repercussions of pointing a gun at a U.S. Olympian and let them go. Lochte and the swimmers get back to the hotel and pass out.
Lochte wakes up in the morning and, having browned out, remembers parts of what happened the night before. He remembers having a gun in his face. He remembers people in uniforms holding that gun. He remembers those people telling him and the other swimmers to get down on the ground. He remembers saying “whatever”. But he can’t remember anything else. He then gets up to find his wallet. It’s not there. He wakes up the three other swimmers. “WHERE’S MY FUCKING WALLET BRO”. The other swimmers roll over and rub the hangover out of their eyes. They find their wallets. One asks: “Dude where’d all my money go?” Another says: “Dude I have no money either.” The third: “Fuck dude my money is gone too.” (Again, all this money was probably spent on booze and Brazilian hookers. They were blackout drunk and don’t remember that). Lochte then says, “BROS, I think we were robbed!” Lochte then proceeds to explain to the other swimmers that these guys in uniform held a gun to their head and made them get on the ground. Lochte tries to connect the dots between being at gunpoint and on the ground and assumes these cops (security guards) took their money. When, again, in reality all that money was just spent at the bar on hookers and booze. The other three can’t remember a thing. They were blacked out. And Lochte sounded so self assured in his story that they just went along with the whole thing.
Lochte didn’t make the story up because most of what he says happened DID actually happen. He did get held at gunpoint by a person in uniform. He did hand over his wallet. He did have to get on the ground. He remembers bits an pieces… bits and pieces that actually happened… and filled in the blanks with what his idiot brain thinks happened.
He then told his mom, who is also probably an absolute brick, and it all spiraled out of control when she told the media. Next thing you know, Lochte is on TV trying to tell a story that he only very very very vaguely remembers from his browned out state. And he’s such an idiot that he just assumed “yeah everything else I made up in between definitely did happen.” Ryan Lochte is stupid. Stupid people don’t know they’re stupid. They think everything that happens in their own stupid mind is what really happened.
That’s one of the two most important aspects of the story here. It’s why when the story first cam outI believed him. My first thought was, “Guys, Ryan Lochte is too stupid to make this up.”
Again, guys… THIS IS RYAN LOCHTE. Dude might legitimately be the stupidest person to walk the face of the earth. He is an idiot. A fucking IDIOT. He can’t possibly have an IQ over 65. He can’t string a sentence together. People like that… people that stupid… they can’t lie. Smart people lie. They lie because they’re smart enough to lie. Stupid people don’t lie. Ryan Lochte does not have the mental aptitude to come up with a story like that. He’s an idiot who got browned out drunk and vaguely remembered a few things that actually happened and filled in the blanks and is so stupid that he thinks that’s what happened.
The other most important point to remember here?
THIS IS THE RIO POLICE DEPARTMENT. The same police department with wildly rampant corruption. The same police department that couldn’t promise people’s security before the Olympics. The police department that went to the gas station and deleted three minutes of tape from the security footage. Again, THEY DELETED THREE MINUTES OF THE TAPE. You think they were just trying to help the nightly news editing teams cut out useless tape? Of course not. Of course they were deleting the three minutes where armed security guards pointed loaded guns at a couple of drunk American athletes. That footage helps Lochte’s case. That footage hurts their image. That footage proves that at least some of this story was true.
Which is why the craziest part of this story is that the large majority of people in the media and on twitter and throughout the world were fully ready to believe the Rio Police Department. People were blindly ready to take the word of cops in Rio. No questions asked. “Oh the Rio police say Lochte is lying? Alrighty then. I believe them”
I mean… holy fucking shit guys. What are we doing here? What have the last twenty four months of stories of corruption and incompetence and danger in Rio taught us if we’re just gonna sit here and blindly believe the Rio police. People don’t trust the American police department. And most of those same people were ready to buy what these Brazilian cops were selling.
Did Ryan Lochte fuck up? Of course. He was a drunk asshole and pissed on the gas station. He was a douchebag and broke a door at the gas station. He was, and is, and absolute moron who filled in the gaps of his brownout and totally believed that’s what happened. But the fact is that everyone was fully ready to take the side of the fucking Rio police makes you just as stupid as Lochte himself.