A few months ago I was on this big World War II kick. I don’t know why, I just was. You know when you’re scrolling Netflix and can’t find anything and just kind of click randomly and somehow get hooked? Well that’s what happened for me with this World War II in Colour doc. Yeah, colour with an -ou… you know what that means. THICC British accent on the narrator. Class class class. As much as I love the Liev Schreiber’s and Ed Burns’s of the narration world, give me a British voice any day of the week. Just gives it this gravitas and importance that you’ll never be able to get from an American.
Anyway… I’m watching this doc. Banging out like half an episode every night before I got to bed. Perfect pre-bed show… it’s like reading a textbook only with pictures that move and none of the effort of reading.
So I get to the Battle of Dunkirk… and just… woah.
That shit was insane.
I mean… I consider myself relatively smart. I thought I had a pretty good idea of what happened in World War II. I mostly did the work in high school. I watched Band of Brothers. I’m a pretty big WWII guy.
Somehow I just never really understood the magnitude of the Battle of Dunkirk.
Yo… they evacuated THREE HUNDRED THIRTY EIGHT THOUSAND soldiers. Think about that. The Germans had the Allied Forces cornered. They had them on the ropes. They could have wiped out 400,000 French and British Troops. And they fucking stopped. Some absolute IDIOT names Gerd von Rundstedt basically advised Hitler that the Germans should regroup before advancing forward. I mean, I’m giving you the broad strokes here – there’s additional things to consider like the exhaustion of the German troops and the British negotiating a conditional surrender and more. But the main point is that the Germans had 400,000 Allied troops cornered on the beaches of Dunkirk. Had them basically dead to rights. And somehow the British were able to evacuated 338,226 of them back to England. Think about how different the war would’ve gone without that Halt Order from Gerd von Rundstedt. England would’ve been toast. The U.S. would have to prematurely enter the war. God knows what else happens. So shoutout to Gerd von Rundstedt. Fucking Kraut Ass IDIOT.
Okay class, that’s it for today’s lesson with Professor Ham. Tomorrow we’ll discuss Pearl Harbor and whether or not you can technically call yourself a Kamikaze Pilot if you didn’t die.
P.S. Oh and yeah this movie is gonna be AWESOME. Christopher Nolan doing WWII… Tom Hardy AND Cillian Murphy who might be the two most underrated actors alive… That dude Mark Rylance who stole the Oscar from Sly Stallone… Harry Styles from One Direction… that guy Kenneth Branagh who has somehow been in EVERY World War II movie or show… Cannot possibly have higher expectations for this movie