Look, I love a god touchdown celebration. ODB dancing, Cam dabbing, everything about William Gay’s outrageous crawling move last year.
Love it. Love everything about it. Love the joy. Love the disrespect. Love how mad old white people get. Love how much more entertaining it makes the game. Love the easy material as a blogger. All in on touchdown celebrations.
But some of those touchdowns… I mean… sometimes it’s just so easy. Sometimes you’re left uncovered. Sometimes you pick up a gift of a fumble. Sometimes the QB’s throw does all the work.
The point here is… Not everything is celebration worthy. You might have scored, but you didn’t always win an individual battle to do it.
A scenario where you always have to win an individual battle? That deserves a celebration. A scenario such as… yup… pancake blocks.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, is more deserving of a disrespectful celebration than a pancake block. There are no accidental pancake blocks. You wither win that battle or you don’t. It’s mano a mano, and if you can flatten the other man like that, you earned the shit out of it.
My proposal? Adopt this as the official celebration of pancake blocks. I mean, it’s perfect, right? It’s so disrespectful, man. Soooooo fucking disrespectful. And if you’ve flattened another man like that, you’ve earned the right to show that. Hump on that man. Convulse like a motherfucker right on his person. Let the entire world know you just ripped that guy’s manhood away from him with your bare fucking hands.
We always talk about offensive lineman not getting the credit they deserve, right? Well let the big boys get some shine. ‘Vulse on them folks, big fellas.