I Can’t Stop Laughing At This Kid’s Savage Attempt At Sounding Out His Words

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Love it. Absolutely love this kids style. Zero intention of learning how to sound things out. Fuck it, I’ll just learn the letters and guess my way to reading comprehension. Round bird? That’s a penguin. Big mouth? That’s a crocodile. Finned Fish? That’s a dolphin. Right mom? Right dad? Yeah, that’s right. I can read now. No big deal. This kid is like when you’d see the answer on a math test (by cheating #badboylife) but have no idea how to get to it. You have the numbers and the answer, and you’d just kind of have to work your way backwards until it made sense. But then the numbers would make sense. So you’d just leave the work kind of scribbly and write the answer very clearly. And then you’d get the test back two days later and realize the answer you had was wrong in the first place. That’s basically this kid with learning to read. You know, except that he’s a toddler and I was a college student who forgot to study for a test. Welp. Who needs math when you’re a professional blogger, am I right guys?

Really making the most out of that degree Ham!

 



By the way, what the hell is Chinchilla doing in a children’s reading book? Just stick to the simple stuff. Horses and sheep and lions and bears. Stuff like that. I’m pretty sure I didn’t know what a Chinchilla was until I heard Drop It Like It’s Hot in like 6th grade. Absolute no reason for a kid to learn about Mou– I mean Chinchillas at that age.



P.S.   Raise your hand if you watched this video and immediately started freaking out at the prospect of teaching your future children how to read. I mean, right now, just think of the concept of explaining letters and sounds to a person. Like, to a normal person. Then shrink that person down and remove like 90% of it’s cognitive abilities.

“This, little Jimmy, is a let-ter. Can you say letter? This letter is R. It sounds like ARRRR, but… like… in a word, it makes the RUHHHH sound. Well… unless you’re from Boston. Then it makes a AHHHHH sound. Can you say ARRRR. Wait, I mean, can you say RUHHHH. OH GODDAMMIT WHY IS THIS SO HARD.”



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