“Wahhhhhh wahhhhh people on the internet are being so mean to me… wahhhhh… I’m offended how mean you guys are… wahhh”
Change your fucking name, idiot. It’s not that hard.
So Steph Curry’s daughter has the same name as you and a few people tweet you some mean things? You got dealt a bad hand. Boo hoo. Someone with a sense of humor might capitalize on a great situation and make the best of it. Someone with one funny bone in their body might start tweeting like a three year old would, or responding to Twitter trolls with aggressive, explicit responses, and maybe make something of this situation. You don’t want to? You want to keep your privacy or something? That’s cool. Just change your name, idiot. That’s your only option. Because I can abso-fucking-LUTELY guarantee you that people will not change their minds and decide not to tweet “horrible things” at you on Sunday. That’s not going to happen. And it’s certainly not going to happen now that you dragged Mike & Mike into the situation and turned this into a internet-wide joke. If you thought it was bad last night, you have no fucking idea what you’re in for on Sunday. Change your name, delete your account, or suck it up and embrace how much comedy you can get out of this. Sure, you seem like the kind of guy who would have no idea how to be funny and kill the joke within two tweets. But fuck it, at least you don’t look like complete narc.
P.S. Seriously though… tagging the Mike & Mike twitter account was kind of the perfect cherry on top for this tweet. Like, of course this dude tagged Mike & Mike. Just the most perfect, vanilla, twitter egg move of all time. Yeah, let me tag that vanilla morning show on ESPN, that’ll bring these internet trolls to justice. Sick move dude.
P.P.S. God bless twitter man. God bless that fucking application. Nights like last night make it just that much more insane that Twitter stock is in the toilet. Between the Denny’s tweet, Ayesha Curry’s tweet, the memes, the jokes, and now this… what a night. I couldn’t go 15 seconds without looking down at Twitter for another meme, another joke, another Vine, another observation. I think I sent or retweeted no less than one thousand tweets last night. NBA Finals Twitter is like mainlining a six hour heroine drip.
What’s that? That metaphor doesn’t make any sense? Whatever dude, it’s Friday afternoon. I’ll see you guys on Sunday.