Cam Newton “Hasn’t Even Climaxed Yet”… You Know, Like, As A Football PLayer

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Pro Football Talk  —  Cam Newton wasn’t eager to revisit this past February. And he didn’t want to talk about next February either.

The Panthers quarterback said Thursday as his team wrapped up minicamp that he was so focused on the work he was putting in this June, that things in the past or future weren’t in his mind.

The reigning MVP said he had plenty to work on this year, and insisted that was his focus.

“I haven’t peaked, I haven’t climaxed as a player, and that’s what I need to get better at,”


First of all, Cam… take it easy.

Let me give you a little advice here – you don’t want to peak in life.

You don’t want to peak in anything. The momentary satisfaction of reaching your peak, if you do even actually do reach it, is almost immediately offset when you hit the top. Because you know what’s on the other side of that peak? Of that climax you want to reach? Darkness.

A steep decline… an ungraceful fall… a dark path towards the end that never really gets any better. You know why it’s called peaking? Because it’s all downhill from there. Whether you reach that peak or not, setting a peak for yourself is setting yourself up for a letdown. Either you can accept that, and you’re willing to strive for a “peak” knowing it’ll only get worse in the aftermath. Or you can go the Dennis Reynolds route and convince yourself that your peak has yet to come when it’s probably already passed

Those are your choices when you try to climax. That’s what you’re in for.

That… or you can use some self awareness and live like the rest of us… rolling along on a nice, semi-hilly road, comfortably gliding towards the finish line.

If you are gonna go for that peak… for that climax… my only advice is just to take your time. There’s no need to rush to climax. Just keep grinding away for the next few seasons, control your pace, find some things to distract you along the way. Because if you think white women didn’t like it when you dabbed and smiled after touchdowns, then I can absolutely guarantee they won’t like it when you reach your climax too soon.

AM I RIGHT FELLAS?

*logs off the internet forever*



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