Quick update on how my life is going… 69-year-old Sly Stallone is better than me at photoshop
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So, little update on how my life is going. I’m 24 years old… I run a blog on the internet… I make jokes about sports and pop culture for a living… and Sylvester Stallone is better at photoshop than me.
Yup.
Sylvester Stallone, the 69-year-old actor, who probably spends as much time on the internet as I spend on movie sets, is better a photoshop than I am. That’s where I’m at right now. That’s how things are going for me. Not only will I never go to a gym again… or ever be in shape… or ever take a sweet muscle tee pic with the bros… I couldn’t even accentuate that picture with a perfectly photoshopped Cubano if I wanted to.
That is fucking pathetic. I mean seriously, what the fuck am I even doing here. I might as well quit the internet right now. Close down the blog and never look back. 69-year-old Sly Stallone is better than me at my own job. Stay down Ham. Stay down and let em count to 10.
No. You know what, NO! Don’t lie down like this. He’s no machine. I DIDN’T HEAR NO BELL. Get up you son of a bitch. Get up, cus Mickey loves you.
*closes Twitter*
*moves to Russia*
*takes steroids*
*plays Burning Heart on repeat*
*takes more steroids*
*searches “how to use photoshop”*
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