I’ll be honest with you… this entire blog has nothing to do with the bulldozer fight and everything to do with the concussion I got last night.
I’ve been trying to come up with a take on this for like twenty minutes, but I’ve got nothing. Sure, the concussion I got last night could be playing a large factor there (more on that later). But more than anything, I just don’t really know what I can say to add to this. I mean… it’s a bulldozer fight… in China. What exactly can I add here to make it any funnier than it already is? How exactly can I make this a relatable post? I mean, I guess I could make some “childhood sandbox fights come to life”-type of comparison. That might work. But, again, I got a concussion last night. And you’re all just gonna skip to the concussion part of the story anyway, right?
So yeah… I got concussed last night.
First concussion ever, which… I mean… come on… that’s pretty impressive that I made it twenty-three years, right?
Anyway… I went up for the Mutumbo block on a fast break, took the contact, and fell back head first onto the hardwood. Just absolutely SMACKED my head down… popped off that wood like a trampoline. Brain bouncing around my skull like a Lil Scrappy video. Dizziness, confusion, all of it. Absolutely, 100% concussed.
Did I stay in the game? Of course. I ate that fall like the warrior that I am. Ball Is Life is not a phrase I take lightly. And I figured I’d be good if I just walked it off. You know, like how you’re supposed to keep playing after rolling your ankle. Can’t let that thing swell up, right?
Two minutes later:
Two minutes later I absolutely could not tell you a single one of my teammates. Deadass completely forgot who I was playing with, and just kind of lucked my way into the right pass on the two or three occasions where I touched the ball. This is the court I’ve been playing on since I was five years old, and I shit you not, I couldn’t recognize it. And after about four possessions and one completely bricked three pointer, I forgot what basket I was even shooting at and just walked off the court before it got worse. Took like thirty minutes until my brain somewhat started working again, but I can’t tell you a single thing that happened in those thirty minutes.
So if my takes come off too hot today… or don’t come out at all… just know that I’m out here laying it all out on the line, staring at a computer screen all day with what any licensed doctor would diagnose as a concussion, because that’s just the kind of team player I am. I don’t do this for me… I do this for you. I do this to bring you the bulldozer fights and the Conor McGregor-to-WWE theories and the very real comparisons between human nature and this self-aware basset hound. And if I die on this field, or experience seizures for looking at a computer screen for eighteen hours with a very evident concussion today, know that I did this for you. Texas Forever.