If I can get one person to unknowingly tell me how one of my dog’s paintings makes them feel, that will be the best moment of my life. “Oh, you can feel the pain and emotion of the artist in this piece, Karen? Really? Well let’s ask the artist himself. He’s right there giving himself a tongue shower on the couch… Hey Buddy, come here boy. Who’s a good pup? What emotional trauma in your life inspired this brushstroke here?”
I understand that art is a complicated thing. I’m not one of those people who sees a painting sell for a million dollars and says, “pshhh… how is that worth that much? I could do that.” I know that there’s more to art than just throwing shit at the board. I get that there is emotion and feeling and work that goes into a piece that, to the untrained eye, might just seem like colors thrown randomly at a canvas.
But with that being said I cannot wait to hang dog art in my house and dupe people into thinking it’s real. If I can get one person… just one… to unknowingly tell me how artistically inspiring one of my dogs paintings is, that will be the best moment of my life.
“Oh, you can feel the pain and emotion of the artist in this piece, Karen? Really? Well let’s ask the artist himself. He’s right there giving himself a tongue shower on the couch… Hey Buddy, come here boy. Who’s a good pup? What emotional trauma in your life inspired this brushstroke here? Was it that one time I went to the store and was gone for 30 minutes? Or that time I only gave you seven pieces of chicken off my plate at dinner? Bark twice if that’s what it was.”
Just one time I want someone to be pretentious enough to comment on my dog art. One time, so that I can laugh about it every time I look at the painting.
They say great art is supposed to make you feel, right? Well that piece will make me feel laughter from getting what normally costs thousands of dollars for the price of two dog treats and 15 minutes of cleanup.
P.S. If we’re being honest here I actually do think I could make something as good as any of the modern art I’ve seen. Give me a canvas and some paint and a Tribe Called Quest album (R.I.P. Phife Dawg) in a Brooklyn studio and I’ll come out with a work of art that stacks up with any piece you’ve ever seen. I’m an artist on the keyboard, what makes the canvas any different?