You know the old saying about not chasing the night? Well that also applies to armed robbery. Get what you can get within a 30 second window, then get out. Nothing good ever happens after 2am, and nothing good ever happens 30 seconds into an armed robbery.
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Look, was it a huge oversight to not see the cop car directly behind the car you’re robbing? Of course. I won’t even be remotely close to committing a crime and I’ll still be aware of any cops around me. Always gotta keep your head on a swivel for curtis, regardless your level of criminal activity. Because if shit hits the fan, and you do find yourself suddenly in a criminal situation, you have to be ready to go. Gotta #StayWoke, especially when it comes to curtis.
But that’s not even my biggest criticism of this guy. Was it stupid? Of course. But you know what his biggest mishap was? It was that he took for-e-ver. Dude if you’re robbing a car you gotta be in and out. Can’t take more than 25 seconds here. That cop was figuratively and possibly literally asleep at the wheel. There’s an armed robbery going on 10 feet from his face and he’s sitting there daydreaming about the next time he can take out all the frustration of never starting for his high school football team.
If you’re out of the cab 10 seconds earlier, you’re home free. Sure you might be disappointed with your take, but at least you’re not in jail and, more improtantly, not all over youtube looking like the worst criminal ever.
You know the old saying about not chasing the night? Or about getting off the blackjack table the second your luck turns? Well that also applies to armed robbery. Get what you can get within a 30 second window, then get out. Nothing good ever happens after 2am, nothing good ever happens once the dealer gets hot, and nothing good ever happens 30 seconds into an armed robbery. Because as depressing as it is to go home alone at 2am and make pizza rolls while deciding whether it’s worth the energy to JO, you know deep down that staying at the bar would’ve more likely led to you puking up those last few Jamo shots in an alley behind the closed pizza place at 4:05am than actually taking someone home.
When the night is over, the night is over. You should never chase the night. And you should also never stay more than 30 seconds in an armed robbery trying to get a wallet than probably contains nothing more than $17 and a Denny’s gift card.
P.S. I know the old guy almost just died and all but if you didn’t laugh out loud at how he said “you’re a lifesaver. OH MY GOD” then you don’t have a sense of humor.
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