A Creamless & Clearless Barry Bonds Just Won A Home Run Derby Over Giancarlo Stanton


How bad must Bonds regret the whole steroids thing now? Dude is rocking twig arms and a dad bod at 51 and just beat one of the biggest power hitters in a Home Run Derby. I know you’ve heard it a million times, but this is probably the #1 example that Barry was a Hall Of Famer even without the juice.

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How bad must Bonds regret the whole steroids thing now? I mean forget the whole public vilification and no Hall Of Fame and all that. Just from a baseball standpoint it wasn’t even worth it. He had a 40 home run stroke even before he started creaming and clearing himself. He was arguably the best player in baseball, and probably ends his career with 100 less homers but 100 more steals if he stays clean. It’s like everyone always says with the whole Bonds discussion, dude was a guaranteed Hall Of Famer before BALCO even existed.

And never has that been more true than today. 51-year-old Barry has been creamless and clearless for almost a decade and still just beat the biggest power hitter in baseball* in a Home Run Derby. He’s rocking twig arms and a dad bod and could still take 99% of today’s pitchers into McCovey Cove. Yet we’ve got motherfuckers like Craig Biggio and Mike Piazza sitting in Cooperstown while Barry and his earth-sized dome sit at home for some shit that everyone who wasn’t already talented enough to hit 73 home runs and get intentionally walked with the bases loaded will get away with forever. What a joke.

P.S.   My favorite thing about Barry Bonds is that any blog about him gives me a chance hate on Wayne’s GARBAGE guest verse on what is otherwise a good Kanye song. I’ve probably hate-listened to that verse 145 times in my life and it gets worse every time.

I’m all about my Franklins, Lincolns and Reagans
Whenever they make them, I shall hayve them
Oops, I meant “have them,” I’m so crazy

What in the absolute fuck is that Wayne? Codeine alien faceass midget.

*with apologies to Stephen Drew

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