A Definitely Not Coked Out Johnny Football Says He’ll Definitely Play This Season

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It takes real confidence in yourself to willingly hit rock bottom in the public eye and still believe you’re going to succeed. And that’s exactly the kind of confidence I want from my Quarterback. Isn’t that right, Jerry Jones?


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You know what… your boy here might be back on #teamJohnny. I know, I know. I know that he’s an absolute disaster right now. I know that he probably hit his girlfriend. I know that he has a coke and alcohol problem. I know that he’s assembled an all-time group of enablers to say yes to everything. And I know those enablers are all just bunch of texas coke heads and fame whore instagram models who are willingly letting this kid throw his whole life away just to ride the fame train the next year or so.

But what I also know is that this takes moxy. It takes some fucking guts to look this pathetic. It takes real confidence in yourself to willingly hit rock bottom in the public eye and still believe you’re going to succeed. And that’s exactly the kind of confidence I want from my Quarterback.

While most people would probably seek help or at the very least seem sorry, Johnny is just digging himself deeper. He’s doing it all to show us how he can overcome adversity. How he has the poise and the composure to pick himself back up when the pressure is on. Because at the end of the day, isn’t that what we want most from our quarterbacks? The ability to handle that pressure? Some guys might handle it on the field. Some might show it in practice. Johnny here is taking a different route, but he’ll show up at the same location. Now all it takes is a man with the guts to match who understands exactly what Johnny is doing here.

And that man of course is Jerry Jones.

Cut that check Jerry. Think of all the attention you’ll get. Think of Johnny running around, making plays in Jerryworld. Think of the press. Think of those SportsCenter segments. Think of how much money it will make you. I promise, it will be totally worth it.


P.S.   This kid is exactly what I hoped one of Johnny’s enabler friend would look like. One of those faces where you know you’re gonna hate the kid before you even talk to him, and then you talk to him and hate him twice as much as you thought you would. As punchable a face as punchable faces get.

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