I’ve spent half my morning going through Waldo maps and I’ve found that candy striped bastard every. single. time. And on the rare occasions that I didn’t find him then that just means it’s a decoy map that Waldo wasn’t even on. Everyone knows there were a few decoy maps in every book, right? RIGHT?
The Tracking Board — The international best-selling children’s series Where’s Waldo? may find its way to the big screen after all. Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg are set to produce MGM’s adaptation of the classic children’s book series WHERE’S WALDO, sources close to The Tracking Board have confirmed. Rogen and Goldberg are producing through their Point Grey shingle, bringing new life into the project that had stalled after a series of studio moves. The live-action family story, based on the books from illustrator Martin Handford and published by Classic Media, centers around Waldo, the janitor/inventor who wears a distinctive red-and-white shirt with glasses, a stocking cap, and a walking stick. As he embarks on adventures, traveling through space and time, he often appears in colorful, crowded scenes from the past, the present – even the future. An early iteration of the script built upon the time-traveling element, where Waldo accidentally activates a time machine and must find a way to get back to the love of his life, Wilma. The script has seen a number of drafts over the years, with writers Marc Hyman, Adam Rifkin, Adam Cooper, Michael Berg and, most recently, Todd Berger all contributing.
Let’s just start here… this is the highest movie idea ever. Whoever thought “let’s make Where’s Waldo into an entire motion picture” is someone who 1) has too much time on their hands and 2) smokes way too much weed. Which, now that I think about it, is the description for just about every screenwriter in Hollywood. But that’s besides the point. I just can’t stop laughing at the idea of a smacked Seth Rogan sitting in his kids room looking for a bedtime story, finding Where’s Waldo, thinking “you know what… we could make a movie out of this”, and then immediately knowing that he’s gonna cast James Franco as Waldo.
How exactly this whole thing is going to work, I don’t know. Nobody has ever or will ever read a word of backstory for Where’s Waldo. You turn the page and you find Waldo, that’s it. So i don’t know what exactly the plot line is gonna be here. But I guess if you’re high enough to consider turning this idea into a movie, I’m sure you can figure out some kind of story to go with it.
Anyways… how great was Where’s Waldo, huh? I’ve spent half my morning going through Waldo maps trying to find that son of a bitch. And guess what, I’ve found that rat bastard every… single… time. I am a goddamn hawk when it comes to Waldo. I’m in that motherfuckers head. I’ve caught him so many times he’s just starting to play mind games with himself. Going corners when he thinks I’ll expect middle. Leaving fake stripes because he thinks I’ll take the bait. Turning his head when he thinks I’m searching for his glasses. And all the while I’m sitting here scoping him out like Barry Pepper from the clock tower. I know what Waldo is doing before he’s even walked on the map. And on the rare occasion I don’t find him then that just means it was a decoy map. Everyone knows that there are a few decoy maps with no Waldo in every book. You can’t find him if he’s not on the page, right? RIGHT?
P.S. I also stumbled across what are supposed to be the three hardest Where’s Waldo maps. I totally found Waldo in like, less than 20 seconds every time. Totally found him every time. Defeinitely not still furiously searching for him in any of these. Totally found him every time…
(Sorry in advance for ruining your afternoon)