Introducing The Clippers New Mascot And The Future Star Of Your Nightmares, Chuck The Condor!


Look, I like a condor. Condor is a solid mascot. But this is not a condor. This thing looks like a meth-addicted Fraggle Rock posing as a high school student. And now I might not be able to sleep for a week. 

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Clipper Nation…

Get ready to take flight…

with your new NEW. TEAM. MASCOT…

Chuckie The Condorrrrrrrrr!!!!!

Alright, what’s going on here? Who let this happen? Are we to believe this was the actual decision of the Clippers marketing team? Or is this all just a Steve Ballmer coke dream come to life?

Look… Condor: solid mascot. Bird of War, predator, hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable. I like the choice. Last I checked (I didn’t), condors look nothing like that. This thing looks like a meth-addicted Fraggle Rock posing as a high school student.

I mean seriously what this fuck is this thing? Who thought this was a good idea? Did nobody think to pipe up in the meeting and ask Ballmer what exactly he was going for here? Or does the Clippers marketing team just want to watch the world burn? Have we all just reached the point that the most outrageous thing is always the best thing for media attention? Where every marketer out there will just run with whatever gets the most attention, sensibilities be damned? Where all publicity is good publicity? Is this the world we’re going to live in? Because if that’s the case, consider the mascot version of Pandora’s box very much opened.

Oh and Steve Ballmer dunked and made this face. That happened too.


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