OH NO! Technology? What does that mean? Did they discover a way to freeze Deshaun Watson’s perfect passes in mid air? Can their defense now use lasers to finally stop a dual-threat QB? Is there a new level of mind control that they can use on the refs? I’M SO SCARED GUYS, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
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Oh my god guys, what are we gonna do? Technology? What does that even mean? Did they scientifically make Jake Coker a good quarterback this week? Can their defense now use lasers to finally stop a dual-threat QB? How many more test tubes of HGH are they now able to fit into each lineman? Is Saban going to use that to be taller? Did they discover a way to freeze Deshaun Watson’s perfect passes in mid air? What brain chip did they implant in Kirby Smart’s head to magically solve spread offenses? Is there a new level of mind control that they can use on the refs? Did they develop a drug to stop Dabo from motivating his players? Are their players going to become robots on the field? OH MY GOD GUYS WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO DO???
P.S. New technology = GPS trackers on the players = something every team does. Suck the SEC’s dick more ESPN… suck their dick more.
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