I Love That Pete Rose Can’t Stop Gambling

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I’m sure you all know by now that Pete Rose was not reinstated by the commissioner, and is still not allowed into the Hall of Fame. Whatever. Nobody cares anymore. I’m sure they’ll posthumously induct him in whenever the guy eventually kicks the bucket. Bummer that the all-time hits leader isn’t in there yet, but does anyone really care? If anything, Pete is more famous now because he can’t get in. Every few years the old “Should Pete Rose be reinstated?” question will make the media rounds, and Pete Rose remains as famous an relevant as any retired Hall Of Fame player there is. And now that he’s jumped on board with FOX and become the most electric sports television personality since early Barkley, Rose will remain in the spotlight.

Plus, is anyone taking their kid to the Hall Of Fame now and not mentioning Pete Rose? It’s not like it’s illegal to speak his name in Cooperstown or when talking about baseball history. He just doesn’t have a bust to look at. And when kids see the record books or see him on TV or notice that Pete isn’t a Hall Of Famer, you’ll end up needing to tell them. He becomes a talking point – a major piece of baseball history that you have to verbally explain, rather than just another bronze head to glance over. If anything, not getting in has been good for him. Sure it must suck to feel “disgraced” or whatever. But everyone still knows who The Hit King is…

 


 

Anyway, laugh out loud funny listening to Pete talk about gambling now. Anyone who’s ever used the phrase “I make a small wager here and there, I don’t gamble every day,” is someone who is undoubtedly gambling way too much and way too often. It’s the excuse you tell your parents when you first start gambling and you accidentally let it slip that you got murdered that day. It usually comes after a nice hot streak, followed by a “back to zero and below” day where you bit off WAY more than you could chew. And when you’re throwing a mini shit-fit knowing you threw away your last two weeks salary and they ask what you’re betting, you grit your teeth and look straight ahead and say “Oh, just twenty bucks here and there on a big NFL game. I’m just mad because I was so confident about this pick”. That’s the first time you learn not to overreact about your bets around certain people so that you don’t 1. look like an asshole and 2. have to respond to “how much do you bet?” with a blatant lie after throwing your cell phone at the couch.

That’s not the excuse you can use when you’re Pete Rose. I mean, I guess you have to say something like that if you’re in his situation. But he has to know that nobody believes him, right? No degenerate gambler ever–let alone the most notorious one of all time–can go from having action on twenty-plus games a night down to a low stakes wager here and there. It’s all or nothing. No half measures. And certainly no half measures for the dude who was kicked out of the MLB for betting on baseball, owns horses, and lives in Las Vegas for “work reasons”.

 

God love you, Pete. I’m fully behind you and your entire lifestyle. But don’t think for one second that anyone believed you’re just a casual better these days. You were ringing your hands in a way that said “I have five figures on some Euroleague basketball right now and I need to get back to that illegal stream before the wifi kicks out. Let’s get this over with already.” Just admit you’re still a degenerate, call it a disease, and we can all move on with our lives. Whether you tell the truth or lie, get reinstated or stay banned, we all know you’ve got action on the ponies today. And that ain’t changing anytime soon.

 



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