I can say unequivocally that DJ Khaled getting lost at sea last night was the scariest part of my week. It’s not necessarily that the situation was that bad. I mean he was 100% still in the port of Miami and probably–at most–about 100 yards away from shore. But I was legitimately scared we would lose Khaled.
Because if you think about it… are we sure he knew that his phone was working? We’re not so sure, right? In my mind, Khaled thinks of snapchat as an entirely separate thing from “cell service” of “wifi connection”. He films his snaps, presses send, and assumes the snaps just appear on everyone’s phones… even though they don’t want him to send it. I promise
I really, truly believe DJ Khaled was out on the water thinking, “I hope someone who sees my snapchats can alert the authorities that I’m lost at sea.” Never even considered that his phone might work. And once the lights got brighter near the port, he finally rode his way back home. With egg whites, chicken SAUsage, and of course the 🔑 to more success, water, just waiting for him by that jacuzzi. They didn’t want him to find his way home. But he made it.