Whatever. Dolphins are wildly overrated anyway. Think they’re so goddamn smart because of their “near-human intelligence”. Hey dolphins, that “near” ain’t getting dropped any time soon. You’re still just a big dumb fish that has to live in the cesspool of garbage and whale poop known as “the ocean”. If you were so smart maybe you’d figure out how to avoid getting killed by the Japanese or how to swim away from Sea World.
Oh wait, that’s right, you can’t swim away from Sea World. That’s because you’re still just a goddamn fish. You don’t have hands and can’t breathe on land. You can’t build shit to keep you alive out of your element like we humans did with sailboats and submarines. You want to get from New York to California? Cool, go swim you ass around the bottom tip of South America. I’ll be there in three episodes of Game Of Thrones and a power nap. You don’t even have a form of currency, and probably won’t see any of that money the NCAA/ESPN/SEC propaganda machine paid to the Sea World trainers to make you choose the Oklahoma balloon because they want to further their anti-Clemson rhetoric. So whatever. Pick the Sooners and that same defense we hung 40 on without Deshaun Watson last year. Good for you. Here’s another stupid dead fish that you can’t even jump out of the pool to get on your own.
Get back to me when they do this with a real animal.
UPDATE: leaving the James video out of the blog at first might be the lowest moment in the history of What’s The Action. Shouts to @DolanShoes for calling me out. One of the most under-appreciated Chappelle skits of all time.
P.S. Right there with you Tajh. Always suspicious of someone who’s happy all the time. (Credit again to Tiger Net, great find)