Please California, don’t call for more gun control. Dan Bilzerian needs to be able to buy guns right away. If you make it more difficult for any random person to buy these completely unnecessary automatic weapons that are capable of mass murder, poor Dan Bilzerian might have to wait a little longer to buy a new gun to shoot off in an Instagram video to make himself feel powerful and mask that feeling of emptiness and insecurity that comes from being a mental midget.
Jesus fucking H, Bilzerian. Just kill yourself already. What are you waiting for? You’ve made every different version of the same Instagram video that you can make, and nobody actually likes you. If you’re gonna sit here and complain about gun control being too stringent after the millionth mass shooting in the US this year, when you literally already own hundreds of guns, what are you really doing with your life? Really, what are you doing? You’ve fucked all the Instagram models. You’ve shot all the guns there are to shoot. Just kill yourself Dan. Because the last thing we need right now is another huge fucking loser like you convincing all the 13 year olds on instagram that owning an assault rifle is “epic”.
P.S. Big shoutout to all the anti-gun-control people out there who want to rip my head off right now. God forbid we make it a little harder for someone to buy a fucking gun. I mean HOLY FUCK. WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE PEOPLE? If you feel a need to have a handgun or a shotgun for your family’s safety, fine. If you are a normal person capable of handling a gun, you can probably understand waiting a little longer and go through a little more difficult process to buy it. And if you can’t wait that long to get your hands on a gun, then you probably shouldn’t have a fucking gun. Because if you’re a normal person, you would hope that the gun you’re buying never needs to be used on some guy with a mental disorder who got easy access to a legally purchased gun. I don’t get what’s so hard about that. Can we just make it a little harder to buy a gun, people? Just a little bit?
And also shoutout to everyone who thinks that if the people at San Bernardino had guns with them the situation would’ve gone differently. Because I’m sure Jeff from Accounting with that pistol in his jacket pocket — that’s already pretty fucking weird to have at an office Christmas party — will just headshot the three terrorists with automatic rifles like he’s Jack Bauer. Totally realistic scenario to think that the three heavily armed terrorists wouldn’t kill Tony in Finance before he could put down his piece of cake and grab for his ankle holster. I bet Roxanne in PR could probably barrell roll to get that M16 she keeps on her desk next to the pencil cup. You fucking idiots.
P.P.S. I cannot WAIT for the responses on this one.