TMZ Releases New Jahlil Okafor Fight Video & Wow Is He A Mental Midget

 

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Look, I don’t need any more reason to be thankful for Kristaps Porzingis. My Knicks drafted the most valuable, untradeable basketball player in the world not named Steph Curry. I am going to be watching Kristaps win MVPs and Championships for the next 15-20 years, and that feeling brings me joy every second of my life. KP is the moon of my life, my sun and my stars.

 

I don’t need a reason to cherish that.

But, with that being said… knowing that Jahlil Okafor is a mental midget just makes The Porzingis Era thaaaaat much more satisfying.

I mean holy SHIT did we dodge a bullet, huh New York? I mean… wow. One pick earlier and we could’ve been stuck with this huge loser getting rattled by some 5’10” junior accountant Massholes instead of Latvian reincarnation of Larry Bird.

ONE PICK.

In retrospect, last year’s garbage Knicks team somehow pulling out those two wins to end the season were the most important wins in franchise history.

knicks.png

We lose just one of those games, JUST ONE, and all of a sudden we’re picking second or third and taking Okafor because the Zen Master is an Ass Man.phil_ass.png


 

It’s one of the greatest “What If’s” in NBA History. What if that 2014-15 Knicks team loses ONE of those two games in a season where they lost SIXTY FIVE times?

One loss there and this franchise is in a wildly different place right now.

One loss and we don’t have Kristaps.

One loss and we’re waking up this morning, crying at the sight of our mental midget “franchise player” screaming “WE GOT MONEY YOU BROKE ASS BITCH” and throwing punches at a bunch of fat little finance majors who made fun of our record, looking like the world’s biggest loser.

One loss and this morning we’re watching this…


 

Instead of the greatest commercial ever made…


 

Holy shit did we luck out guys.

 



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