Ham’s Daily Porzingasm: KP Says He’s Going To Talk Trash Like Larry Bird

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“You gotta go more into detail. You can’t just call somebody some names. You know, that’s not fun. You really gotta know something about him so you can get into his head. There’s different ways how to do it. You can just be an asshole on the court. Or you can be a little more intelligent. Try to get some painful spots in that guys life, his personal life.”



Stone. Cold. Killer.

That was some Jordan-esque shit from my man Kristaps. Straight up killer mentality, on and off the court. I’ve been calling him the Latvian Larry Bird ever since that first preseason game, and that was just on skill alone. Who knew he was planning on the mantle from Larry as the best trash talker of all time too? He’s not going to walk around like some KG/fake tough guy, screaming like an asshole with no real direction. Oh no, no, no. Kristaps will break you down mentally. He’ll own so much space in your head you’d think the whole country of Latvia has colonized your brain. He’ll leave you walking to the lockerroom with a towel covering your face, thinking not about the 45-18 he just hung in your grill, but rather your shortcomings as a husband and a father. He’ll make you wonder why you even walked on the court, and why you even picked up a basketball in the first place.

He will break you. And that’s why I wouldn’t trade him for anyone else in the league.

Now which one of you motherfuckers is going for second place?



P.S.   Jokes aside, the fact that he already has this mentality says everything you need to know. He knows he’s not Gary Payton right now, and that’s fine. He’s going to study the league while he makes a name for himself. And as soon as he’s established, he’s going put players in a mental pretzel on a nightly basis not just with his play, but with the intelligent insults to back it up.

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