Woman Writes Open Letter To Cam Newton To Complain About His “Dabbing” Celebration Because She Can’t Explain It To Her Daughter

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I know this woman Rosemary Plorin has caught a lot of flack this morning, but she does have a point. If this is the example that Cam Newton is going to set for her daughter for three hours one time every four years, how the hell can Rosemary ever instill her own values in her daughter. First her daughter is copying Cam’s touchdown dance. Next thing you know, she’s having fun and celebrating touchdowns like football is just a game. At that point you’re probably dealing with a daughter who can take a joke and respond, and with that comes an enjoyable presence that people will gravitate towards. Before long, she’ll… *gulp*… work harder than everyone to reach her goals and be proud of her achievements. She might even… smile and dance when she does something well… *GASP*

No, no, no. Rosemary Plorin can’t have that. If her daughter doesn’t grow up to be an insufferable bitch like her, what will become of the world? Nevermind that if she’s asking, “Won’t he get in trouble for doing that? Is he trying to make people mad? Do you think he knows he looks like a spoiled brat?” she’s probably already exactly like her mother. That’s all well and good. But she can never lay her eyes on Cam’s methods of celebration. Because next thing you know, all those years of parenting will be undone by on Dab. Rosemary’s daughter cannot ever be exposed to an opposite way of doing things. EVER. What the fuck is a parent supposed to do if their child is exposed to different things and views the world with an open mind? They will never grow up to be the wet blanket their parent is, and that is a world that Rosemary Plorin just can’t live in.

Shame on you Cam.

Be a better role model for one time in your goddamn life.



 

Real talk though, this woman made it all up right?

I mean when you’re the type of person who writes open letters to your local newspaper about a football player celebrating, it’s not hard to imagine you’ve raised a shitty daughter. But at the same time, you know this mom made it all up. People like this…

…have zero conscience about utilizing their children to back their argument. They will credit their children with insane statements like “I guess he doesn’t have kids or a Mom at home watching the game,” because they know that nobody will attack the statements of a child. And they use that to guilt people away from rebuking their absurd logic. That’s exactly what Rosemary Plorin tried to do here.


 

I do think she has a shitty kid who will eventually ask questions like that. But it’s not really the kids fault. That kid is shitty because she’s been raised by a wet-blanket, self-important, hyper-religious mother who would rather grandstand about role models than explain to her daughter that an athlete, playing a game, decided to express himself to celebrate the un-fucking-believable play he just made. And while Rosemary racks that empty brain of hers to find an explanation as to why Cam Newton would dance in celebration of his own achievement, she directs that daughter of hers to the half naked cheerleaders thrusting their hips in celebration just to pay their way through nursing school and the marketing intern in a Panther costume doing cartwheels up the sideline. Because only they are allowed to celebrate, not the player who made the play.

She’d rather take a shot at Cam’s mother, who raised a wildly successful child beloved by everyone around him, than look in the mirror at the wet-blanket kid who will grow from class tattle-tale to the one in the office who reports little things to HR twice a week just like her.

So even if Rosemary’s kid never even asked those questions, you know she’s gonna suck anyway.



 

P.S.   Probably my favorite line of the whole thing is:

Many Titans fans booed you, a few offering instructive, but not necessarily family friendly, suggestions as to how you might change your behavior.

Laugh out loud funny. “Hey Cam, Cam, CAM. Up here. No up a little higher. Yeah, row 20. Yeah. In the Mettenberger jersey. Listen up Cam, I’ve got an idea for you. Instead of dabbing, I’ve got a suggestion for you”

*Rosemary directs her daughter to the fan, tells her to listen to the suggestion*

“Why don’t you go fuck your own face you bitch”



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