David Ortiz, 2014: “I Won’t Do Retirement Tour”… 2015: “I’m Retiring After Next Season”


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Wanted to give a quick shoutout to one of the biggest hypocrites of all time, David Ortiz. Congrats on once again stepping up to the plate to do the most hypocritical thing possible, Papi. Wouldn’t expect anything less. Whether it’s calling for 100 game suspensions for steroids then getting caught yourself, refusing to address the Mitchell Report but endlessly bitching to the media about contract offers, or speculating that ARod was only good this season because he was juicing after making your entire career off of steroids, your hypocrisy knows no bounds.

Now you’re going to parade around on your own little retirement tour after taking pot shots at Jeter and Mo? Get the fuck out of my face Papi. You want your own retirement tour? Go walk down Landsdowne so that every Murph and Sully from Ipswitch to Falmouth can suck your dick. Fuck if any other city is gonna make baseball bat chairs for your hypocritical ass.

Mariano Rivera, Ron Gardenhire



P.S.   Just to reiterate, I don’t care about steroids. Everyone did them. And Ortiz is 100% a Hall of Famer. Dude was as clutch as they come. I just find the hypocrisy of guys like Ortiz and ARod and Rafael Palmero and everyone who adamantly denied it hilarious. And Ortiz is the worst of all of them.

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