“I’m gonna fuck your brains out”
Haute Living — An NBA Championship and a threesome within a few hours of one another? Life truly couldn’t get any better for Golden State Warriors owner Joe Lacob on that momentous June evening when his team finished its record-breaking season in grand style with its first league title in 40 years. Ah, but this ménage à trois was hardly what you’re thinking.
“I had made a promise to myself [that] I would sleep with the trophy that night,” reveals Lacob, which rhymes with Jacob. “Nicole [Curran, his longtime fiancée] and I did sleep with it.”
On one hand, we want to ask more questions; on the other, we don’t really want to know any more than he’s already shared. (Not that this animated hoops nut is going to tell us anyway.)
“I’ll leave it to the imagination,” he says, grinning. “We had a lot of fun with it.”
Having held the Larry O’Brien trophy myself (nbd) multiple times (again, nbd), I can totally understand where Joe is coming from here. I mean how can you not fuck that thing? I’m just a lowly basketball junkie and I want to hump that thing like an unneutered dog. Of course Joe Lacob fucked it. He’s had much weirder things than the Larry O’Brien Trophy in bed with him. I would expect nothing less from a billionaire with a combover like that.
So I don’t really see this as that crazy. A little gross? Of course. But when you think of some of the people who have had that trophy (looking at you Dennis Rodman), a night in bed with Joe Lacob and his wife doesn’t seem that bad.
P.S. “Do you like small ball” absolutely killed me