Evan “NEVER GOOGLE” Fournier Has The Best Nickname In The NBA

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SB Nation  —  Evan Fournier is a young French shooting guard who plays for the Orlando Magic. He’s pretty good! Fournier gangrene is a rare necrotizing infection of the genital region found most often in older men. It’s pretty bad! Basically, your whole penis area turns horrible colors and falls off, then you die. Herod the Great had Fournier’s gangrene, but I’m certain it was not one of the things that made him so great. I am not including any sort of links here because I nearly puked researching this post, and I swear I have a strong stomach for these things. Fournier — the athlete, not the infection — must have Googled his surname at some point and found some horrifying images, so he issued a warning in 2014:

And now, a while later, “Never Google” is becoming a nickname for Fournier, thanks mostly to NBA Blog Lord Matt Moore:

A little long and not necessarily the catchiest nickname, but none of that matters. This is an A+ nickname because you will absolutely google Fournier. That’s just a stone cold fact. Everyone knows that when you’re told specifically not to look at something, you’re going to look at it. It’s like the Kevin Ware or Paul George injuries, except instead of a broken leg this is a burned, discolored penis. You know it’s going to be disgusting, but you can’t help yourself. You just have to look. As much as you don’t want to, you’re going to sit there and call yourself a pussy until you do it. And that’s what makes this name so brilliant. You’re going to google Fournier, and every time you hear his name, you’re going to think about the burned, discolored penis you never should have googled. Brillia– oh wait nevermind that sucks

via @seth_rosenthal

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