“Clock Kid” Ahmed Is Moving To Qatar Because He’s Too Good For America Now

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Irving MacArthur High School student Ahmed Mohamed, 14, poses for a photo at his home in Irving, Texas on Tuesday, Sept. 15, 2015. Mohamed was arrested and interrogated by Irving Police officers on Monday after bringing a homemade clock to school. Police don't believe the device is dangerous, but say it could be mistaken for a fake explosive. He was suspended from school for three days, but he has not been charged. (Vernon Bryant/The Dallas Morning News via AP) MANDATORY CREDIT; MAGS OUT; TV OUT; INTERNET USE BY AP MEMBERS ONLY; NO SALES

I hate everything about this Ahmed story. Everything. From Ahmed to the cops to Obama to every company that threw themselves at this kid in the name of publicity, this is just the worst.

First of all, if Ahmed was that smart he’d realize that a metal briefcase with a ticking clock 100% looks like a bomb. Black, White, Middle Eastern, or Asian, if you’re holding a metal suitcase with a ticking clock, my first thought is bomb. Watch one episode of 24 for me Ahmed.

Second of all, the cops putting a kid in handcuffs made everything ten times worse, so fuck them. If you can’t “detain” a frail 14-year-old without putting him in cuffs, you suck at your job. There’s a difference between keeping people safe and just showing off your power because you can.

Third of all, fuck MIT and all these schools who offered Ahmed a scholarship. The kid didn’t even “build” a clock. He took out the guts of an actual clock and put them in a briefcase. I respect his hustle for it, but let’s not act like the kid is a young Elon Musk. Just assuming this kid is an engineering genius because he’s Middle Eastern is actually more racist than thinking he had a bomb… Okay not really, but you know what I mean.

Fourth, fuck Zuckerberg bringing him to visit Facebook and all these companies who gave this kid whatever he wanted in the name of publicity. This was one of the most shameless public relations onslaughts of all time and I hate every company for it.

Fifth, fuck Obama because blaming Obama is always hot in the streets.

Lastly, fuck Ahmed’s parents. Oh was life getting too hard for you and your son? Is it too difficult to be beloved by the entire media? Was it tiring getting to visit every major tech company and the goddamn White House? Well tough shit. I know you didn’t ask for this life but guess what, you’re living it. Sending your son off to goddamn Qatar to be completely overwhelmed by a new country and a high-pressure school isn’t doing him any favors. All you’re teaching him is that when the going gets tough, just fly to a new country and start over. Is that what you really want to do? Just turn down the publicity visits, lay low for a few months, move to a new city or something, and maybe your son won’t be overwhelmed with the celebrity to the point that he needs to move to Qatar. Everyone moves on to the next story these days. Ahmed is only still a thing because of you.

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Email me at ham@whatstheaction.com.
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