I Love Pete Rose Blasting Donaldson & Baustista For Their Fake Injuries Because He Clearly Bet On The Jays

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“Does everybody know what we’re playing for now? I mean, you get a tweak and you got to leave the game. You take a knee to the head, and you’ve got a helmet on, and you gotta leave the game to go take a test that you pass. I mean, because you’re a little light-headed?

“I got light-headed how many times in my career? I still went out there and played. I guess it’s just different from when I played to when they’re playing today, Frank. I can’t see you sliding into second there and leaving the game, I really can’t.”

I missed this last night, and I’m sure the joke has been brought out already… but how much money did Pete have on the Jays last night? I mean come on Pete, we all know you had a significant stack on that game. Next time just come out and say it. Embrace that degenerate role, because pretending to be an impartial analyst when you’re the most notorious sports gambler of all time just doesn’t work.

I mean just think about that for Rose. What if he just embraced it? What if he just told us who he was betting on before the game, then went on a crazy bad beat rants when he lost and pompously bragged when he won? How great would that be right?

And just to compound on that, why doesn’t one of these fledgling channels just embrace gambling? How has nobody taken advantage of this yet? Why would you try to be the tenth different network with a stable of clean cut former athletes regurgitating the same generic takes about each game? I mean there is an entire void waiting to be filled… the angry gambler void. What postgame show would you rather watch, a nuetral highlight show with the Trent Dilfers and Steve Youngs of the world repeating the same thing over and over and over… Or… A panel of charismatic degenerate gamblers ranting about bad beats or big winners. How great would that be, right? That kind of passion and anger provides the highest level of entertainment, and isn’t that what these networks want?

This is sports. Everyone has bias one way or the other either due to team preferences or to a need to be right about your prediction. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. Yet the producers of these postgame shows are still going for this preposterous angle of neutrality. Why not just embrace the preference route? Why not capitalize on the exponentially growing market for gambling and provide fans with the impassioned takes we deserve. If I lose a bad beat, I don’t want fucking Bart Scott sitting there telling me that both teams played hard. I want someone right there with me, ranting about that big dropped pass or the ridiculous play call on third down or how biased the refs were. And on the flip side I want to hate-watch some smug bastard telling me how right he was about team x’s pass rush or acting like that lucky fumble was exactly how he called it.

If you’re upfront about your bias and can rant and complain in an entertaining way, I’m all in.

And guess what, Pete was entertaining as hell right there. I mean the guy called concussions soft! That’s a FIRE hot take that maybe like five people can pull off, and Pete is one of those five. Oh your head hurts Josh? Maybe don’t slide head up into the second baseman. You want to be tommy tough nuts and take out the second baseman you better be able to do it without leaving the game with a little case of “what day is it?”, especially if you have a fucking helmet on. Last I checked, Pete Rose ran headfirst into Ray Fosse in an All Star game and stayed in there. The least you could do is tough out a few more innings in the goddamn playoffs bro. Just comb that stupid try-hard hair over your bruise, cover your empty, concussed eyes with some oakleys, and get back on the fucking diamond. This is the fucking playoffs Josh, suck it up.

P.S.   Bautista is just a flat out pussy. I’m just messing around about Donaldson, even if I hate him and his fucking hair. I get he has to come out. But Joey Bats? Pussy. Oh your fucking hammy is tight Jose? Get the fuck out of my face. Grow up and get back out there. It’s the playoffs dude, that’s the softest thing I’ve ever seen. If there’s ever been a more perfect player to take that mantle of “summer hero, fall zero” Playoff choker it’s Joey Bats. Guy can hit a billion home runs in August but the second the calendar hits October I guarantee we’ll see him swing and miss enough to see those stupid sunglasses fall right off his face. Fuck you Joey Bats.

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